the Pie Hits Your Eye, It's Not Amore
Rob Morse, Examiner Columnist
San Francisco Examiner, Thursday, January 21, 1999, page A2
© Copyright 1999 San Francisco Examiner
how innocent baked goods can bring out the best and worst in people.
I don't mean the smiling grandmothers who hold charity bake sales,
or the rude yuppies who chaw on baguettes in supermarket lines.
pies in the face. In San Francisco, a pie in the mayor's face
has led to stupid and seemingly endless political posing. A group
of silly people, who probably would be streakers in another decade,
jammed pies topped with tofu cream in the mayor's face. They were
laughing, but on the TV news they looked ugly and dangerous.
people were appalled. This is our mayor. He represents us. This
was a pie in our faces. The mayor wrestled one of the twerps to
the ground. That's good - downright Jesse Ventura-like, in fact.
there was a demonstration by African American civic leaders protesting
a demeaning assault on one of the most important black elected
officials in the United States. The goal of throwing a pie in
someone's face is humiliation, not humor, and it hardly qualifies
as a political critique.
pie throwers said they wanted to bring attention to the homeless
problem. As if a splattering of pie does the job better than a
walk down Powell Street.
came the trial, and real insults to our intelligence. A lawyer
for the pie throwers told a Superior Court jury that, because
of the higher purpose to the pieing, his clients should be acquitted
of charges of misdemeanor battery and assault on a public official.
purpose was to change the course of policy on homeless crimes
through media attention and discussions afterward." And here
we are in the media discussing the hazards of pies and the nature
the three pie throwers were convicted of battery, but not of assault
on a public official, Brown was angry. "They were guilty
of attacking me, but not attacking me as mayor," he told
Channel 2. "I hope they're not just attacking me because
a minute. Let's put the race card back in the deck. It's one thing
for black community leaders to be offended by a humiliating pie
attack on Mayor Brown. But it sounds like misplaced insecurity
coming from a mayor who was elected overwhelmingly by a multiracial
Simple Simon Brigade could have been attacking him because of
his expensive clothes. They could have been attacking him because
of his pointed wit. They could have been attacking him just because
he's mayor. In the past that's been enough for attacks, physical
and otherwise, on white mayors. They probably did it just to get
on TV. If so, it really worked.
do idiotic things for lots of idiotic reasons. In San Francisco,
though, organized idiots feel the need to have high-sounding political
excuses - like doing it for the homeless.
are enough racists in the city, state and nation - real racists,
insidious racists, racists in positions of power - without the
mayor suggesting he was hit by racially motivated pies.
look at what's going on in Washington. A president who is very
popular with black Americans is the defendant in an impeachment
trial that smells like a musty Confederate uniform. Senate Majority
Leader Trent Lott and the most rabid prosecutor, Bob Barr, give
speeches at meetings of the Council of Conservative Citizens -
a direct descendant of the old segregationist White Citizens Council.
Leaders of the Council of Conservative Citizens have said things
like "Demographics is destiny" and "The most critical
thing is to preserve the genetic basis of our race." In 1992,
Lott told a meeting of the group, "The people in this room
stand for the right principles and the right philosophy."