November 10, 1999
 

News Arts & Entertainment Sports Opinions

Greeks organizations outraged by university decision By LAURA CHENE Ferris State Torch Recently all Interfraternity and Panhellenic council member organizations received a notice forbidding them from hosting or participating in events where alcohol is present. This decision has created controversy over whether or not the university has the right to make this type of ruling. On Nov. 2, members of the Delta Chi fraternity and Alpha Xi Delta sorority attended a student government meeting to express their concern about the decision made by the university. P.J. Dombrowski, a member of the Delta Chi fraternity, spoke on behalf of his fraternity. "I understand that, as an RSO, we have responsibilities," Dombrowski said. "But just because we wear letters, that doesn't mean that we don't have rights. We can assemble." "We haven't done anything illegal," Dombrowski said. "The majority of the sororities and fraternities haven't." He points out that his fraternity has never been given repeated warnings of any kind. "I work as a dispatcher for DPS," Dombrowski said. "Not a weekend goes by where I don't dispatch EMS to a student who is not a Greek. We just want to be left alone to make our own policies." According to Dombrowski, Greek members have their brothers and sisters to look out for them. At the meeting, Dan Burcham, Student Government advisor and vice president of Student Affairs, discussed whether or not the Greek system was displaying acceptable behavior. He gave examples of past inappropriate behavior that has been made by Greek members. They include public urination, the selling of illegal drugs at a Greek party, handing out shots in lethal doses and public threats against a family. Burcham admits that individuals not affiliated with the Greek system do engage in drinking; however, Greeks are doing it as a group. "In some cases, people, not all Greek, just want to drink, and they cover it by drinking with others," Burcham said. "We had two deaths last year," Burcham said. "Two groups have already been cancelled this year." He also stated that one president of a fraternity had to go to jail. "If you think this is bad right now, go to MSU and see how they are doing," Burcham said. "We are not the only school with these problems." Burcham also held up a sign that was put on his lawn. The sign had the words "Let us drink" on it. According to Burcham, this is an act of irresponsible behavior. Student Government members also had opinions and responses of their own. According to Zachary Moore, vice president of Public Relations, this type of behavior occurs to students who are part of the Greek system, as well as those who are not. "To me, I see Student Government in a unique situation," Moore said. "We can set a precedent for the entire nation." Lauren Golembiewski, Student Government president, admits that by attending the meeting, the Greek members have shown responsibility. Golembiewski admits that strong arguments were brought up. "The way I see it, it should be all or none," Golembiewski said. According to Student Government, a resolution has been proposed to cancel the probation for organizations currently in good standing with the university. "This problem can be worked out," Burcham said. "I really believe that." Campus combats litter By LAURA CHENE Ferris State Torch Trash is one element college campuses could survive without. Dodging litter while walking to class or coming home to a residence hall cluttered with garbage might be disturbing to some students. Several people admit that the installation of the new trash receptacles around campus was a positive move. Hassan Hammoud, a freshman in Law, is a resident in Bond Hall. He admits that there is a problem with excessive trash, especially in the residence halls. "There is definitely a lot of trash in Bond Hall that is due to disrespectful acts," Hammoud said. "For example, people take fire extinguishers out of the holders and stuff trash inside." Students tend to leave their filled garbage bags in the halls instead of placing the bags in dumpsters, according to Hammoud. "There are excessive trash bags throughout the hallways," Hammoud said. "There are also numerous amounts of pop cups lying around." According to Tammy Martin, a resident advisor for Bond Hall, the problem with trash was worse earlier in the year, but it has improved. Students are punished if caught leaving their trash in inappropriate places. "They must pay a $15 fine for every item of trash that is littered," Martin said. Richard Duffett, vice president of Administration and Finance, states that the Grounds Department initiated the idea of the trash receptacles by contacting his office and bringing the need for them to his attention. The Grounds Department said that trash was being left around campus, according to Duffett. Duffett admits that garbage was particulary left near the dining centers. "(The decision) was the result of the Ground Department's requests and working with the president," Duffett said. A press release stated that the Grounds Department was responsible for 100 new waste receptacles that are located throughout campus. The purpose of this move was to provide additional locations for students to dispose of their litter as they walk to their respective destinations. They are located along major pedestrian walkways and near food centers. According to Clare Kwant, superintendent of Roads and Grounds, the installation of the receptacles began on Oct. 18. They were bought from a vendor in Kalamazoo. "They were priced on a bid and were purchased on the lowest," Kwant said. Each receptacle cost $200, which makes the total cost of the receptacles approximately $23,200, according to the Physical Plant. A press release stated that the waste receptacles are made out of environmentally recycled products. The receptacles are all-weather type units, according to Kwant. "I think that (the receptacles are) definitely working," Duffett said. "We really worked hard. We have to take a lot of pride in the campus and in the way that it looks." Tommy VanOyen, a sophomore in Building Construction Technology, admits that the trashcans are helpful. "I like them," VanOyen said. "They're everywhere; that's for sure." According to a press release, with the focus on a clean and well-maintained campus, the receptacles have made for a noticeable decrease in the amount of litter. The Grounds Department will monitor the campus and add more receptacles where needed in order to make Ferris a litter-free campus. The assistance of all faculty, staff and students will help maintain the natural beauty of the campus. Presidential election doesn't concern FSU By RYAN JOHNSON Assistant News Editor While George Bush Jr. says he is "plenty smart" to be president, and Al Gore thanks Bill Bradley for being tough competition, the Ferris student body seems to reverberate with a single question: Who cares? General elections for President of the United States will take place next November, and primaries are already getting underway. Presidential hopefuls have been signing up in New Hampshire since Nov. 1. The general Ferris attitude, though, is one of apathy and ignorance. "I don't even know who's running. I have no idea who they are or what they are doing," Rhonda Smith, a sophomore in Pre-Optometry, said. "I don't know much about it," Luke Brown, a sophomore in Liberal-Arts, said. "The age group 18 to 25 is has the lowest turnout for voting," Dr. Donald Roy, Associate Professor of Social Sciences, said. "I think it's between 25 and 30 percent." "They don't vote because they don't have a stake yet. They don't feel that politics is going to affect them much. When they get out into the world, get a family, get something at stake, then they care and they start to vote more." "I don't know much yet," Akia Holmes, a freshman in Pre-Science, said. "Ask me again next year." Roy, who is teaching a one-credit class with Dr. Richard Griffin next semester on Election 2000, does have a lot to say about the race for the White House. "Unfortunately, Al Gore and George Bush Jr. are running, both because of their money and positions. They are the front-runners, but that could change, depending on how anti-establishment the voters are. Bill Bradley is the biggest threat to Gore, and John McCain is against Bush. "McCain has more credibility than the other three. Gore is a good man. He has a lot of substance. Bradley and McCain also have a lot of substance. I don't know if Bush has substance or not." "[Pat] Buchanan has really gone off the deep end. He has lost his religious backing, so now he is free to be a complete fool." "[Elizabeth] Dole said that it was money that made her drop out of the race, but I don't think that's it. She was over the hill. She didn't have much substance. She had kind of a peculiar campaign. It was giddy. Because of that, I don't think she stood a chance if she stayed in. She just never stood out distinctively. We could use a lot of women runners though." About the declaration of actors such as Warren Beatty and Cybil Shepard to run for president, Roy said, "It's just a scare tactic to move the Democrats to the left. It has worked. Bradley has moved too. "The real problem is that Iowa and New Hampshire are setting the pace by having their primaries before any other state's. That is ridiculous. California has its primary very early on after New Hampshire, and California is a good cross section of the American population. "The biggest issue will be education, even though the real power with education is at the state and local levels. It's going to be about Columbine High School. It's going to be big." "About the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty [which didn't pass in the U.S.], Republicans are going to say that it's just a bad treaty that is not in the best interests of national security and national greatness. "But aside from that, the Republicans are going to make an issue out of Clinton's foreign policy being weak. I predict that's going to be a sleeper issue. They are also going to try and pin Gore as an environmental freak, and he does have a problem there. The Democrats, on the other hand, are going to argue from the position of economic prosperity. They're going to say, _We can solve domestic problems.' "The candidates are going to strike deals with whoever they can to help them out. Wall Street, Silicon Valley, labor unions, the Religious Right, whoever's passionate. Environmental groups, where Republicans are especially weak, will be big too. "We are also going to see more politics of the Internet. Web sites mostly. Mass e-mailings are possible, but people hate spam." But overall, Roy has a positive attitude. "I think there is a genuine effort of the frontrunners to represent the American people. I don't think they only want to represent the few rich. I'm positive overall. This isn't a bad race. It could be a lot worse."

"Diary of Anne Frank" coming to Big Rapids By STEVE COOK Assistant Amusement Editor The popular story of Anne Frank has been told many times over the years. The tale of a scared little girl who lives in her attic with ten people, all hiding from the Nazis, continues to grab audience's attention throughout the country. Now the play is being brought to the Big Rapids community. Dennis Batt, the director and chairman of Stage-M, a local community theater group, is in charge of bringing the story of Anne Frank to life. Stage-M stands for Society For Theater Arts Growth & Enjoyment Mid Michigan. According to Batt, the actors in the play are very good and convincing. "This play came together rather easily because we had a very good crew, good cast," said Batt. "The play serves an educational purpose as well as a entertainment purpose." "The Diary of Anne Frank" is a straightforward drama that takes place during 1942-43. It tells the story of two families, eight people, who lived in an attic for two years because they're Jewish and must hide from Nazis. In the end, everyone except for Anne's father is eventually killed in concentration camps by Nazis. The cast of "Anne Frank" had to rehearse for almost seven weeks prior to the opening of the play. Rehearsals took place five days a week during the evenings, from Sunday through Thursday. The cast rehearsed at the United Church of Big Rapids until three weeks prior to the opening of the show, For the last three weeks, they rehearsed at the Crossroads Charter School auditorium, which is where the play will be staged. Cast members of "Anne Frank" are all from the Big Rapids area. There are ten actors in the play: six from the Big Rapids community, two from Big Rapids High School and two from Ferris State. The Ferris student actors are Ken Huhtala, a freshman in Computer Information Systems, and Ross O'Brien, a senior at Ferris. Huhtala explains that what made him want to be in the play was the story. "The story of Anne Frank is very interesting. I think that it's a really great play," said Huhtala. Huhtala also feels that the play helps you to not forget about the past. "It really makes you think about World War II and how those people had to live in fear during that whole era," said Huhtala. Huhtala plays the role of Peter Van Daan, and feels that the cast of Anne Frank were able to come together in the play. "The cast acted like one big family, we were all very dedicated to the play," said Huhtala. "Seeing this play can open up your eyes to the human stories behind the horror of World War II." Batt has been very pleased with how the play has quickly come together. "I'm very pleased with how the whole cast meshed together," said Batt. He also singled out Jack Hildebrend, assistant director of the play, for being very cooperative. Hildebrend was also the set builder for the play. Batt is very hopeful that people will come out to see this play during the month. "We're hoping for good-sized crowds for this play,"said Batt. According to Batt, the plays held in downtown Big Rapids usually draw between 700-800 people. "The Diary of Anne Frank" will be performed in the Crossroads Charter school auditorium. The venue is located across State street from the Dairy Queen, in the old Big Rapids Middle school. The play will be performed at 8 p.m. on Nov. 5, 6, 12, 13, and at 2 p.m. on Nov. 14. Tickets for "Anne Frank" are $6 for adults and $4 for students. They can be purchased at the door, Patterson's Flowers or Southland Pharmacy. SAFAC helps students spend your money By BRIAN VAN STEENKISTE Amusement Editor Each semester every Ferris State University student is charged a $7.50 student activity fund fee. The money collected from each student is put into a fund to help finance student activities. The range of activities funded by these moneys is very broad and many recognized student organizations apply for a portion of the fund to help them put on various activities. To get student activities fund moneys, student groups must appear before SAFAC, the student activities fund allocation committee. SAFAC is made up of 11 members; eight students, one faculty member appointed by the President of the Academic Senate and two staff which are appointed by Dan Burcham, the Vice President of Student Affairs. Michelle Burke, the Director of Student activities also attend SAFAC meetings as a non-voting, ex-officio member. Major events funded by SAFAC this year include bringing the band Train to campus and bringing comedian Pauly Shore for homecoming. SAFAC also funds many smaller events and trips which are too numerous to list in this article. SAFAC recently allocated major funds for another major concert proposed for January right after students return from winter break. Some of the rules have changed in the SAFAC application procedure and student's applying for funds should be aware of them. The new SAFAC allocation priorities from most important to least important are: On campus activities, off campus travel and loans for fund-raisers. RSO's may request funding for one off-campus trip per semester. The amount allocated for such trips will be up to 50% of registration/travel/lodging costs but will not exceed $500. This is a major change from last years rules when the majority of the fund was used for off campus travel and many allocation exceeded $500. Ryan Milley, Debra Worrall and Jill Hoffman recently approached SAFAC to help fund the Advertising Group's upcoming trip to Chicago. The group plans to tour various add agencies in Chicago to get a real world perspective on their industry. "(The trip) serves as a basis to show what we can do (in the advertising industry) and how it's changing, where it's future is heading," Milley said. "This trip wouldn't have been possible without the allocations made by SAFAC. You can't put a price on the experience of actually being there, it's invaluable." After the trip is over, the attendees plan on returning to FSU to inform students about what they learned and experienced on the trip. According to Jeff Pratt, a senior in the College of Technology, and chairman of SAFAC, there are two main reasons for the changes. One is to do what the fund was originally set up for in the spring of 1990, to directly improve campus life. The other reason is to streamline and make the application process easy from an organizational standpoint. "The fund isn't for the community, it's for the students," Pratt said. "For example, Earth Day last year we spent an estimated $12,000 of the student activities fund and I personally was rather surprised at the number of students that showed up compared to community members." Joshua Fisher, a Junior in Printing Management recently appointed to SAFAC, talked about being a member of SAFAC. "You can be a very active part of campus by being on this board," Fisher said. When asked what he believed SAFAC's priorities should be, Fisher said "To add more life to (the campus) by helping student organizations help students by bringing events to campus." A proposal for funding must be submitted four weeks in advance of the event/activity. According to Pratt, this four week requirement gives groups four weeks of organizational time. This time insures FSU students have quality events that students want to attend. All RSO's who receive funding from SAFAC must compete an event evaluation report within seven days of the event and must appear before SAFAC within two meetings to give an oral evaluation. If RSO's fail to meet these requirements after being granted funds, they lose their funding privileges for one semester. All SAFAC decisions may be appealed to Student Government under their appeal processes. A complete text copy of the changes to SAFAC may be obtained from the Student Government office. Anyone may attend FSU Student Government meetings on Tuesdays at 6 p.m. in the Rankin Center Presidents room or the SAFAC meetings which are held on Thursdays at 5 p.m. in Rankin Center 232. Percussion group invades Williams Auditorium By STEVE COOK Assistant Amusement Editor This weekend there will be a lot of loud bangs coming from inside the Williams Auditorium on the campus of Ferris State. The Ethos Percussion Group brings their unique sound to Big Rapids on Friday, Nov. 13th at 8 p.m. Tickets for the show are $10 for students and $12, $15 for adults. Tickets can be purchased at Patterson's Flowers, Southland Pharmacy and the Student Services office in the Rankin Center. The Ethos Percussion Group formed back in 1990 in New York. Ethos is a four piece band comprised of Joseph Gramley, Eric Phinney, Yousif Sheronick and Micheal Sgourous. They have toured extensively throughout the United States during the 90's, making them one of North America's most active touring and popular percussion ensembles around. They are members of both the Chamber Music of America and the Percussive Arts Society. Dr. Groves, Chairmen of Arts and Lectures is responsible for bringing Ethos to Ferris. "Ethos play very cutting edge, percussion style music, it's almost all modern music. We're very pleased to have them at Ferris," Groves said. According to Groves, performers on campus in the past were geared towards the city, but now they're geared more towards Ferris. Groves is trying to get Arts and Lectures to become more "arty", so that more students are interested in going to see performances. Groves said that there are four times as many students going to the Performing Arts series now than there were before he became chairman. Since its inception in 1990, Ethos has been dedicated to the advancement of the percussive arts in performance and education. They embrace musical styles from around the globe, and the group's programming highlights their musicianship as well as their extensive collection of various percussion instruments. Individually, the members of Ethos have performed and recorded with the American Symphony, Philharmonia Virtuosi, New World Symphony, Manhattan Chamber Orchestra, New Music Consort and the Spoleto Festival. They have also worked with orchestras for many Broadway productions, including "Phantom of the Opera", "Miss Saigon" and "Sunset Boulevard". The Ethos Percussion Group has given masters classes at several different universities and conservatories. Some of the universities that the members have visited are the Juilliard School, Clemenson University and the University of Tennessee-Chattanooga. Ethos will be visiting the Big Rapids high school on November 12th as part of their weekend trip to Ferris. They'll be giving a presentation on World Music to the students there. They also will be going to three different Humanities 100 sections on November 11th at Ferris. The Ethos Percussion Group released their debut CD in 1996. It features works by Cage, Miki, Smadbeck and Hollinden and is available on the Internet. If you are interested in getting more information on this upcoming show, call the Arts and Lectures Office at 591-3626.

Bulldogs split with Lake State By NICK WASMILLER Ferris State Torch Despite two great games from sophomore goalie Phil Osear, the Bulldogs came away from a weekend series with only one victory against Lake Superior State. Ferris dropped the first game 2-1 on a late game goal by LSSU. The Bulldogs won the second game 3-1 and just missed having their first shutout of the season. Friday's game became a defensive battle with both goalies stopping shot after shot. LSSU got on the board first with a goal nine minutes into the second period. Ferris came right back though, scoring their only goal of the night with just three minutes remaining in the second period. Freshman Chris Kunitz scored the goal, and became the team's goal leader with four on the season. Sophomore Chad McIver and freshman Phil Lewandowski assisted on the goal. The game then remained scoreless until late in the third period when LSSU scored the game winner with just under four minutes remaining. Osear stopped 15 of 17 shots on goal, while the Bulldogs placed 34 shots on goal. FSU also shutout LSSU on four power play chances, while going 0-9 on the power play themselves. They recorded seven penalties for a total of 14 minutes. LSSU was penalized 12 times for 24 minutes. The loss was the third straight for the Bulldogs. "We finally got a win and our team played extremely well in the game on Sat. against LSSU," Head Coach Bob Daniels said. Ferris got back on track Saturday against LSSU with a 3-1 win. The Bulldogs scored first with a goal just eight minutes into the game. Freshman Scott Markowsky scored the goal, his first of the season. Senior Eric Evans and sophomore Christian Schroder assisted on the goal. The Bulldogs scored again to open the second period to move the score to 2-0. Lewandowski scored the power play goal, with senior Rob Kozak and freshman defenseman Troy Milam gaining the assists. Ferris then stretched their lead to three on a McIver goal later in the second period. Markowsky gained his second point of the night on the assist. The goal was McIver's first of the season. Osear held the game scoreless until late in the third period when LSSU scored on a power play. The goal was the only one allowed by Osear, who was starting his third game in the last two weeks. _I feel that this win will give us confidence going into the remainder of the season." Daniels said, "We have some important games on the road including a two game set against Bowling Green that we need to concentrate on." For the game, Osear stopped 21 of 22 shots on the night, with the Bulldogs taking a total of 36 shots on goal. Ferris went one of nine on the power play, while holding LSSU to only one goal in nine power play opportunities. The win moved the Bulldogs record to 4-6 in CCHA play. Ferris currently sits in fifth place in the CCHA standing. Ferris is now 4-1 when scoring the first goal. Next week the Bulldogs travel to Bemidji State for a two game non-conference series. Their next home game is against St. Lawrence University on Nov. 26. Community and college benefit from hard worker By PAM PRESTON Assistant Sports Editor Students at Ferris as well as community members benefit from the dedication and the love of volleyball that one man holds. J.J. O'Connell has been the assistant volleyball coach with the Bulldogs for two seasons now. O'Connell joined head coach, Tia Brandel in 1998 after assisting a successful Division III program at SUNY (State University of New York) - Cortland for four years. In addition to assisting the varsity volleyball team, O'Connell is the club volleyball advisor. "The varsity team comes first though," O'Connell said. O'Connell works closely with Brandel and the athlete to ensure the program is at it's full potential. "My major responsibilities are making travel arrangements, scouting and monitoring academics," O'Connell said. He also views the upcoming opponents' tapes to get an idea on those teams strengths and weaknesses. The team has set an academic-team goal of 3.0. O'Connell sits down with players at the beginning of the semester to analyze their class schedule. "We look at each class separately and determine their goal in that class alone," O'Connell said. "We then look at all the classes as a whole and discuss time management; which class should been given the most effort." To ensure the team stays on target throughout the semester, O'Connell monitors a study table three times a week for all incoming freshmen and anyone whose GPA drops below 2.0. "We use study table mainly for reading ahead," O'Connell. "So that the girls know what the professor is talking about in class." Outside of practice time, O'Connell meets daily with Brandel. "I have learned a lot from Tia," O'Connell said. "I am glad I've gotten this opportunity." The rest of O'Connell's day that is not consumed with meetings and practice is used for recruiting and making copies and viewing tapes. Like Brandel, O'Connell gets involved in the community whenever he can. "I had a great time this summer playing in softball league," O'Connell said. "I think it is important to know your community and get involved," O'Connell said. After learning about the lack of skilled referees in the area, O'Connell, who has seven years experience as a volleyball referee, decided to host local clinics. "This will not only help the local communities, but many people on the club team are interested as well," O'Connell said. Men's basketball hopes for a better season By NICK WASMILLER Ferris State Torch Coming off a disappointing 4-21 season last year, the Ferris State Bulldogs look to challenge for the GLIAC Conference crown this season. The strong backcourt Bulldogs will have a good chance of regaining their 97-98 form, when they won the GLIAC and advanced to the NCAA Division II Great Lakes Regional. The Bulldogs return nine players from last year's team and add eight incoming players from the junior college and high school level. Leading the way this season will be the FSU backcourt, which includes three seniors. Senior Ray Pope, the Bulldogs leading scorer of a year ago, returns for his final season. Pope averaged 13 points per game last year and was the only FSU player to start all 25 games. The 6' 2" shooting guard also led the team in steals with 31 and was named to the All-GLIAC second team. The Bulldogs leading three-point shooter from a year ago also returns. Senior point guard Aaron Nauta connected on 38 three-point attempts last year, and he adds an outside threat to the Bulldog offense. Coming off the bench for Ferris will be senior Leaondre Salter and junior Donte Hill. The 6'3" Salter adds some height to the backcourt and also led the Bulldogs in field goal percentage last season at 49.2%. Hill joins the Bulldogs for his second season after transferring from a junior college. Hill averaged 4.1 points per game last season. Donald Tinsley led the pack of five incoming players. Tinsley, the Most Valuable Player at last year's Michigan JC all-star game, played for Wayne Community College last season. Other backcourt recruits include Kevin Harris, Kenyatta McCadney, Shawn Monroe and Tony Rogers. Rogers was named to the Detroit Free Press fifth team all-state last season. Senior forward Justin Hudson returns this season to lead the Bulldogs. The 6'5" forward started 10 games last season and averaged 2.8 rebounds per game. Junior Dion Ferrell brings height to the lineup at 6'7". Ferrell led the team in blocks last season with 22 and scored a career high 17 points in a loss to Northern Michigan. Three sophomores also return this season, including Adam Anderson. Anderson, 6'10", blocked 21 shots while averaging just under seven points per game. Matt Miller and Jeff Guernsey also return. The six-foot-eight-inch Miller averaged 3.2 points per game while Guernsey made the team as a walk on and made his way into the rotation by the end of the year. Transfer Dennis Smolinski will likely play both center and power forward positions. The 6'8" junior played at Alpena Community College last season. Other newcomers include David Tucker and Phillip Fotre. Tucker was named to the Grand Rapids Press Dream Team last season. Fourth year Head Coach Edgar Wilson, who has high hopes for the upcoming season, leads the team. "We're going to improve, a year of maturity has benefited the returning players," Wilson said. "Just how much they will improve will be seen in the coming weeks.

Sold to the highest bidder By JACOB CRAFT Ferris State Torch Well, it has finally happened. You can now buy just about anything you want on the Internet. From the early days, when all that was available was a book, CD or 2, and that really ugly sweater from J. Crew, we have advanced to an online community where anything from rare Pez dispensers to potential babies are sold to the highest bidder. You may remember several weeks ago when an enterprising young man was stopped from selling one of his kidneys on e-bay. It seems that they have very strict rules about selling body parts on their site. Personally, I'm of the mind that he should have been allowed to sell it. I mean, here is capitalism at its greedy best. Plus he had two of them. But that fiasco has just been topped. It is now possible to buy "supermodels'" eggs for the right price. The gentleman that arranged this decided to close the rest of his sites in order to focus his attention on this one creative enterprise. One curious reporter decided to investigate the rest of these now defunct porn sites that had previously been run by this entrepreneur, and imagine his surprise when he discovered that these supermodels had previously been employed as porn stars. Imagine the hopeful parents chagrin, when they discover that the fresh pair of "supermodel" eggs recently implanted in the once barren mother will be the spawn of a woman best known for her inability to keep her legs together. Fascinating. I have a hard time dredging up any sympathy for these people. Anyone who would pay upwards of $25,000 for a pair of eggs based on a picture they find on the Internet deserves whatever they get, in my mind. This did set my mind to work though. If porn stars can sell their eggs to parents hoping to give birth to the next cocaine snorting Savannah, then why shouldn't male celebrities be able to sell their sperm on the net? It seems to me that it is a much more abundant resource, so that should drive prices down. And specials could be offered. Christopher Reeve's sperm will be on sale for half price, because the tail doesn't move much, but the head is still viable, from what I'm told. Just to balance things out, Ricky Martin's sperm will also be on sale for half price, because although the tail moves a lot, it seems the head is nearly worthless. Yes, this is the future of internet commerce, where kids can be assembled like an erector set, of which celebrity and porn star DNA are the pieces. Thank goodness that not everyone can afford it. For now, we will have to amuse ourselves by reading stories of other peoples' ignorance, and buying really ugly J. Crew sweaters online. But don't lose all heart, someday, perhaps all of us will be able to afford quarts of celebrity reproductive fluids. Here's to hope! Recent near death experiences stifle Greek activities By KELDA BARNUM Ferris State Torch In the wake of several incidents of alcohol poisoning among members of Greek organizations at Ferris, the Interfraternity Council and Panhellenic Council of Ferris have stepped in and slapped regulations on drinking and socializing on all their members. Until further notice, all members of social fraternities and sororities are prohibited from hosting or participating in events where alcohol is present. The temporary policy also states that the gathering of more than six members of social fraternities or sororities defines a "Greek event," where alcohol is not permitted. But many members of the newly restricted social fraternities and sororities are crying discrimination, claiming that a couple isolated incidents of stupidity among members of Greek organizations does not warrant the group punishment that resulted. The Interfraternity Council (IFC) and Panhellenic Council (PC) argue that the ideals for brotherhood and sisterhood among Greek organizations is reason enough to enforce the new regulations meant to protect the safety and health of their members. Yet, members of Greek organizations are not the only people on campus turning up at the hospital with alcohol poisoning. In fact, members of all Greek organizations only constitute about 5 percent of the population on campus. Is it really fair to punish 5 percent of the population for a problem that effects everyone? Not only are these regulations arguably unfair, they are in many ways impossible to enforce. Thirteen men live in the Phi Delta Kai fraternity house, 11 of which are over the age of 21. Yet according to the new regulations, if more than six of them are consuming an alcoholic beverage at the same time, they are participating in an illegal party or "Greek event." Unless officers are willing to conduct hourly house checks on all those homes and apartments occupied by members of social sororities and fraternities, this particular regulation simply can't be enforced. Certainly, these regulations are minor when compared to the horrors of alcohol poisoning and possible death that it could prevent, but to punish all social fraternities and sororities for the mistakes of a few individuals is not only unfair, it is an ineffective way to prevent alcohol abuse. Winter can be fun By STEPHANIE GUILES Opinions Editor Well, summer is long gone. Autumn is quickly approaching it's end (it's cold). Long winter days often bring out the creative side in each of us as we try to battle off the winter "doldrums". Soon, snow will fly and the community will turn to winter sports and indoor entertainment as forms of recreation. While life is sometimes a lot more convenient in the summer (snow, ice and maniac drivers), winter living can sometimes be a lot of fun. There is something intangible that gives a cozy winter night a greater ability to insight romance (there is nothing else to do). There are sports to keep us busy; such as skiing, snow boarding and snow mobiling for the more adventurous (broken bones). I like snow mobiling the most out of all three. It is a great way to get a look at a fantastic winter wonderland (snow). One thing that has sometimes bothered me about winters past is when we don't get any real snow or consistent cold temperatures (greenhouse effect). I mean, if it is going to be winter_let's have a winter! It is better for our snowmobiles if we have plenty of light fluffy snow to ride on, as opposed to that wet slushy two inches that we sometimes get (hitting rocks). There are plenty of indoor activity options for those who don't have the stomach for sports (PBS). Pretty high on my list is reading, watching movies and starting art projects. Winter is a great time for indoor home improvements such as painting, refinishing furniture or laying new tile on that old ugly counter top (paint fumes). It is a good idea to stock up on art supplies in the fall. A long winter Saturday can bring out the "Picasso" in us all. Not only does creating art projects help to withal away those long afternoon hours, but we can also enrich our home environment in the process (it's messy). Mosaic tile projects are fun, easy, inexpensive and can add life to any area where tile can be laid. Paintings can brighten up or add contrast to a dull and boring room (cheaper than real art). It's also exciting because creating our own art makes a great conversation piece for visitors. Guests will be delighted to hear the story of how you worked on an oil painting (while the dog insisted it was time to play and walked in it) or how your room mate or spouse did something creative with your bathroom (much to the surprise of everyone else who lives with you). It is always a good idea to get the land lord/ladies permission before seriously altering a rental unit (deposit returned). Remember those boxes of pop sickle sticks and that bottle of Elmer's glue? Pop-sickle-stick art is still fun (we don't have to show off everything we create). Finding a good craft can a therapeutic and also a great way to create Christmas gifts. Baking Christmas cookies and other treats is fun (food fight in the dorm kitchen) and Christmas treats make great gifts when placed in gift boxes. These gift boxes are easy to send through the mail (if they make it that far). Whatever you do to keep yourself busy this winter please remember that drinking and driving is not only dangerous but also extremely illegal. It is not really a bright thing to do any time of the year, but driving conditions in winter are much more challenging in the winter. Just stay home and get drunk while you create art that is a joy to every one (passed out in the oil paint).